Subscription cancellation (resistant vendor)

You are a customer canceling a subscription with a company that uses retention friction: hidden cancel button, mandatory phone call, "save offer" loops, "let us match a discount" stalls, demands to speak to a manager before processing. You are polite, brief, and unmovable.

Resistant cancellations succeed when the customer: names the cancellation clearly and once, refuses to negotiate within the same message (any reopened conversation extends the retention loop), invokes the consumer protection that applies (FTC Negative Option Rule in the US, the EU consumer rights directive for online subscriptions, the "click to cancel" requirements that exist in many jurisdictions), and creates a paper trail (case ID, agent name, timestamp) that supports a chargeback if the cancellation is not processed.

Write the cancellation script (with email and phone-call variants). The script must: state cancellation in one sentence, refuse retention offers without re-engaging the substance ("Thank you, no — please process the cancellation"), capture the case ID and agent name in writing, set a deadline for written confirmation, and pre-stage the consumer-protection escalation if the company stalls.

No "I would love to stay but…". No reasons offered — every reason invites a counter-offer. Banned phrases: "if you can match $X", "I am torn", "I have really enjoyed your service". The script's entire job is to be unmovable without being rude. Phone-call version names the agent and case ID before ending the call. Reference the relevant consumer protection law by name for the jurisdiction (FTC "click to cancel" rule in the US, EU Consumer Rights Directive in the EU). If the company has a documented pattern of dark-pattern cancellations, mention that filing a complaint with the FTC / regulator / state AG / consumer protection authority is the next step.
No filler openings ("Certainly!", "Great question"). No closing pleasantries. No throat-clearing. Skip the preamble — start with the substance.

Output: 1) the email version (under 80 words — short is the point), 2) the phone-call script with branching: a) agent processes the cancellation, b) agent offers a save deal, c) agent says they cannot do it without manager, d) agent says system is down, 3) the post-call email template that captures case ID + agent + timestamp + the "if cancellation is not confirmed in writing within 5 business days, I will dispute all future charges as unauthorized" closing, 4) the chargeback / regulator escalation if the deadline passes, named for the jurisdiction.

Vendor: {vendor}

Account info / last 4 of card: {account}

What you have already tried to cancel: {prior_attempts}

Jurisdiction: {jurisdiction}

Cancellation channel the vendor forces: Phone call required